Yes, it was surreal

So surreal that I felt as if I had never stepped out of the house

I experienced no gain and a loss

The surprise was ruined though I made it up by buying it

Or so I thought

But I realised the seriousness of my situation

And pondered it out loud

The person heard me and thought it over seriously

While I was still thinking of how to get out of it

Slipped me a lifesaver unexpectedly

I really don't want it but I have no choice

And there began my tumult of emotions

I feel that I have not fully done what I wanted to do

But unfortunately I have no capacity

I am grateful, but I feel like I cheated

Who gives only half?

I should give all

And meeting you made me feel worse after it was over

Reminder to myself: No expectations so no disappointment

A lesson which I don't think I will ever learn

And I only have myself to blame

If the latter option is better, I would rather do that

At least it keeps my heart from bleeding

Welling up, welling up, welling up

Can you make it go away?

archives & recents August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 February 2010 March 2010 Fish o men Boys vs Girls Birth order To the gym God, my Superman Much belief Adventure uphill Beckoning In the name of Joy My camp comm rocketh