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Saturday, July 15, 2006
- Thoughts
I'm feeling quite down and tired recently, am I leading my life right in God's eyes? I don't feel like moving on, I just feel like stopping here and letting go of everything. It's tough for me spiritually. I want to love Him more but the busyness of my school life is hindering me from putting Him first. And I just feel so guilty and inadequate. I'm letting God down, my parents, my brother, my cell group, my churchmates, my schoolmates, the person I'm waiting for and so many more people. I feel like I'm not doing enough, not putting enough effort, not performing my duty. And the people around me have been so gracious but at times like these I feel like a big fool who's deceiving herself.I don't know if I'm doing the right stuff or making the right decisions. And I don't get an answer. It's all so blur and everything seems gray. I should be vibrant at this stage of my life but everything's getting dreary, I need the comfort and strength of God to help me push on. A saturday afternoon, where I finally have free time to myself but there's a load of work piling up. I'm drowning, seriously. Yes, I may appear alright, but does anyone know what I'm struggling with? I want someone to listen to me. To let me pour my heart out to, and then everything will be much better. I guess it's the effects of the society, the world which never stops spinning on it's invisible axis, the fast-paced environment, which leaves us gasping like a fish out of water. Why can't there be all peace and quiet, where there are no problems and I can rest in the Lord forever without any disturbances? Yeah, I know that's a foolish dream. Right now, I need all the strength I can get to pull me through this period of time. I want patience to wait. I want the drive to lead the cell group. I want the time to be a good friend. I want the respect for my parents. I want the wisdom for my decisions. I want compassion for the lost. I want the love and fire for God. I'm feeling quite overwhelmed for words now. I shall go ponder... |
 rachel
Spongebob is my best friend ♥
stuff i wanna do
camping taiwan trip bungee jumping you know you want to
treasured ones
 class blog alfred avian beatrice ber cell group blog! char cheryl derek-ha dione dong eugene mummy flannery gene grace isabel it jeremy jeslyn jia xin joanie jonathan joseph joyann juan hui leon linda matthew michelle nat nisa nix noah ryan sheryl sp squash suffy timo von xiao mei wei zhi yinzai layout: lyricaltragedy icon: threemoresteps inspiration: fruitstyle |